Why NONE of the Republican Candidates Should Be President

My take on each candidate in brief.
(Clicking on each candidate's strip will take you to a larger version of their montage. )

John McCain
Simply not the worst of all 7 GOP guys who really suck








Just when I was thinking that he looks like a baby seal that got clubbed - well, I found out, he pretty much was. John McCain has overpaid his dues for America. From Wikipedia:

"Participating in the Vietnam War, he narrowly escaped death during the 1967
Forrestal fire. On his 23rd bombing mission over North Vietnam later in 1967, he
was shot down and badly injured. He endured five and a half years as a prisoner
of war, including periods of torture, before he was released following the Paris
Peace Accords in 1973."

Damn. That is terrifyingly impressive and just reading that paragraph starts the Battle Hymn of the Republic playing in my mind's soundtrack. Despite being tortured himself, he doesn't seem to have learned much from the experience though. That "Do Unto Others" doesn't end "as others have done unto you":

McCain...negotiated (in September 2006) a compromise in the Senate for the
Military Commissions Act of 2006, suspending habeas corpus provisions for anyone deemed by the Executive Branch an "unlawful combatant"...permit[ting] the President to establish permissible interrogation techniques and to "interpret
the meaning and application" of international Geneva Convention standards...

Widely dubbed McCain's "torture compromise", the bill was signed into
law by George W. Bush on October 17, 2006, shortly before the 2006 midterm
elections. However George W. Bush appended a signing statement in which he went back on his word and rejected the compromise.

I can only quote a Bushism on this one: "Fool me once, shame on....shame on...you? Fool me once - can't get fooled again."


Rudy Giuliani
9/11 abuse, should be imprisoned at Ground Zero for all eternity


It takes Jon Stewart (skip ahead to point 3:58) to explain in full, funny graphic detail detail why Rudy Giuliani using the tragedy of September 11, 2001 as a campaign ploy is not only shameful but also gives Giuliani no play with voters. Unfortunately, that is not why the ultra-conservative, staunch Bush supporter has been at the bottom of the primary elections. He's not seen as "religious" enough by the ever rising Evangelical crowd (uh, those cross dressing pics, duh) and he's definitely persona non grata to any self-respecting progressive.

Oh and 9/11 to you to.


Mike Huckabee
Theocratic Bush supporter - Crusades 2009 anyone?


Mike Huckabee scared the bejesus out of me by winning Iowa. First of all, I just can't imagine actually having say "President Huckabee" for four to eight years. Huckabee is a name for a vice president, not a president. Although the man isn't responsible for that hideous name, he is responsible for his hideous politics.

Thinking about Huckabee as a President? I've got two words for you: Bill Gothard. Actually, let me give you two more: Ted Haggard.

Like Bush, Huckabee is courting hardcore Evangelicals left and right. Unlike Bush, Huckabee is a firm believer in the Evangelical cause: reshaping America in the image of the Evangelical version of a Christian nation. Even for a firm believer in Jesus like me, this is cause for alarm. The Bible is interpreted many different ways by many different people.

These folks believe they have the one ture way of interpreting the bible - and their way is the most strict, severe, fire and brimstone, God's Wrath way of explaining things. All that stuff about love and the meek inheriting the Earth and Jesus actually getting the death penalty for speaking Truth to the power of his day? Nah. That's liberal commie talk.

Huckabee = Theocracy and this is bad because, I hate to break it to some folks, but Christianity is NOT the only religion practiced in America and even all the Christians don't agree on exactly how Christianity should be practiced.


Mitt Romney
Godless Bush Supporter, Voldemort in a better package

(LOL) Obviously, I am not the only person who thinks Romney and Voldemort have a bit in common.

Mitt Romney has shown that he is willing to do the religion thing if it will get him a seat in the Oval Office. Even scarier, he will walk the walk and talk the talk if people will see him as the guy with great hair who at least looks and acts like the Perfect White American President.

The above photo montage of Romney is a story by itself. It's depicts my worst fears about how people are, quite literally, groomed for the office of President. The first picture is suitably presidential but someone obviously had a different Romney in mind. By the end, that younger, slimmer guy with the kilowatt smile is a much changed from the guy in the beginning. I think I liked the first guy better. Can you even believe Guy #1 and Guy #7 is the same guy? If the eyes are the window to the soul, guy #2 is scary. Yet all of them are Mitt Romney.

And then there's the final product and drat him for being so darned handsome. But all Potter fans know that ugly Voldemort was once a very handsome and charming Tom Riddle. Romney firmly believes that there should be NO LIMITS to Presidential power. Sound familiar? Best quote I've ever read on Romney came from this article: "Romney isn’t running to be President, but to be King."


Fred Thompson
Bush/ Cheney supporter with hound dog eyes

To lazy to run a full out campain, too smart not to run at all.

Fred Thompson, actor/ politician, fooled me for the longest time. I actually thought he had a look alike in Hollywood that they pulled out whenever they wanted someone who "looked like that Senator guy." When I finally realized the actor and the senator were the same guy, well, color me surprised.

Oddly enough, I believe Fred Thompson would be a good President if he weren't so damned conservative. I mean, he pulls out all the stops on conservatism. That folksy, good old boy charm that white folks love scares the hell out of black folks. Good old boys don't ever seem to understand the issues of minorities, immigrants, women or hell anyone that isn't a Good Old Boy. If we picked a president on brains alone, Thompson would be a good choice but a President should be smart and human.

The thing that bugs me the most is that in most of his roles, he's playing a politician of some sort. Like Romney, he obviously looks the part he intends to play, even to the point of playing himself. At least in most movies, he has another name and, depending on your point of view, another persona.

But what about this 2005 movie Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World. On the Internet Movie Database (IMDb) there are two sections under Sen. Fred Dalton Thompson - one for where he plays a character and another where he appears as himself - as on talk shows and such. Well for this particular movie, the character's name is - you guessed it - Senator Fred Dalton Thompson. The basic premise of the movie (from IMDb):

"The American senate, in order to improve its fast declining global image, asks
comedian Albert Brooks to write a 500 page document about what makes Muslims laugh in India and Pakistan."

Hard to wrap your mind around that one isn't it? I think we all need to know who we would be getting as President - former Senator Fred Thompson or actor Fred Dalton Thompson. I only wish that was the only doubt I had regarding a possible Thompson presidency.


Ron Paul
WhoTF is this guy and why is he running for president?
For the longest time, I had no idea who this guy was. Then I saw him on CSpan one day and I sat and listened to what he had to say.

Ron Paul reminds me of all those people - black, white and every hue in between - who rush to the suburbs thinking that crime and "uncivilized" people won't follow right behind them. They pull down the shades of their pristine suburban McMansion and are surprised, when they finally submerge from the isolation of their surround sound home theaters, that the world they thought they left behind is right at their front door.

Ron Paul advocates all sorts of things that seem wonderful- at first: Withdrawal from the Iraq War, opposes NAFTA and even personal income tax "which he says assumes that the government owns individuals' lives and labor".

However, he also advocates U.S. withdrawal from the World Trade Organization and from The United Nations and he voted for the Secure Fence Act - which would put a double layer fence between Mexico and the US (but not, please note, between the US and Canada - can you say subtle racism boys and girls?).

The United States can't just put up literal and metaphorical fences and ignore the rest of the planet. Isolationism doesn't keep the world out, it keeps us locked in - physically and mentally. Don't fence me in with this guy.


Duncan Hunter
Tancredo come lately

I know. At least you'd kind of sort of heard of Ron Paul. And even the name Tancredo rings a bell (Tom Tancredo was running as a GOP guy, but dropped out of the race this past December.) But you probably think I'm joking when I say a guy named Duncan Hunter is running for president don't you?

Well, he's in the race, but honestly, I have not seen him in an interview, and just got around to reading about him to finish up this article. As far as I'm concerned, this Johnny-come-lately is a day late and a dollar short.

Oh, and if you're one of those - "It all comes down to abortion" type people well this is where he stands on that issue (welcome back to the dark ages women):

"I would amend the U.S. Constitution and provide blanket protection to all unborn
children from the moment of conception by prohibiting any state or federal law
that denies the personhood of the unborn. Likewise, I have also introduced the
Right to Life Act, which would legally define “personhood” as the moment of
conception and, therefore, guarantee all constitutional rights and protections,
including life, to the unborn without utilizing a constitutional amendment."

With that hardline stance I don't think he has an iota of a chance. Not to mention it was hard to find a picture of this guy where he looked pleasant, even on his own site, let alone a picture where he had a full smile. I understand wanting to look presidential, but there is such a thing as going to far. That center picture is only missing a "Mission Accomplished" banner.

I think I'll give this guy a pass.

Well, anyone of these guys, heaven forbid, could be president. But I don't think things will be much different than the Bush/Cheney years with any of them and in some cases, things would be much worse if you can imagine such a thing.

America deserves better.