Sunday, July 19, 2020

White People Are Making The Argument For Slavery

I have seen the ugliest ideas about black people spread on the Internet. The idea of a return to Enslavement was dog-whistled by Trump recently. I've seen everything from a white woman casually wondering if Trump was going to reboot slavery because she could use a maid, to young white men just wanting to get rid of all black people and referring to black people as "outmoded farm equipment."

Toni Morrison once said, "It's as if our lives have no depth and no meaning without the white gaze."

White people simply can't imagine a world where they leave us the f*** alone. We're always a "problem" to be dealt with instead of just human beings. This sh*t gets really old and tiresome. Get your family and friends and tell them to cut it out already.

Saturday, July 11, 2020

No School: Coronavirus

Trump, Pence, and McConnell have their idiot education shill Betsy DeVos pushing full time school with no distance learning at all.

I think a lot of states will ignore that and go for distance learning but we already know it's a stretch for parents to work full time and help monitor their children's studies.

Many  people seem to live in some magical universe where parents are free to be home with kids all day and focus on nothing but schoolwork or where distance learning works there exact same as a classroom.

We could have had that world but the Republican's won't invest in stimulus to keep people going.

Academics are important but survival is even moreso. We're going to have to survive before we can educate. That's a bigger problem than you realize for a lot of people. 

So yeah, the 2020 -2021 school year is lost to coronavirus. When the government gets their shit together, we start the kids on learning socialization skills and manners with academics being secondary on the agenda for at least the first half of the year when they go back to school.

We give everybody an extra year or two of high school or open up junior colleges for further instruction if we need to.

We can do generalized home instruction until then and the state can be happy with whatever parents can do from home.

Until then, school is closed. This whole wishful thinking that we're going back to school or that every kid can go back to school online or some sort of hybrid system is just ridiculous.

Listen to me: It's Over. Even if we were doing everything right, sending kids to school is outright dangerous..

Countries who have done testing, contact tracing and social distancing and who have citizens who are actually willing to cooperate with each other have still had outbreaks of cases.

America is doing nothing, or next to nothing, besides begging people to wear a mask and we can't get people on board with that and law enforcement is not going to make white people wear masks. Not going to happen.

They had a meeting to try to plan reopening schools in San Francisco. 40 people exposed to coronavirus.

They tried two teachers sharing a classroom both of them social distancing, teaching online. Both of them now have COVID19.

There is a summer camp, mostly kids outdoors with them taking precautions and social distancing. 80 kids and staff now have COVID19.

White people can't so much as control head lice or sumach flu in schools and you think you can trust them to protect our kids from one of the most contagious diseases to hit the planet?

This idea that we can carry on as normal is done.

Until we get rid of Trump and everyone who enables his delusional bullshit we're going to be lucky to survive let alone go to school.

There was a young black girl who died of COVID19 in May. She spent some of her last days in the hospital doing homework for a graduation she would never attend.

Fuck That. My kids will be taught and I will do the best I can, but there's more than academics they need to learn right now. That's what I'm going to do until this is over.

But the world we were living in is over. That's just done.

Trump and Mitch McConnell and their little dog Betsy DeVos can all go fuck themselves. I'm not risking my kids and my family for their stock portfolios.

Thursday, June 18, 2020


I've been in quarantine so long, I finally ordered some stuff on the Internet.

It's the beginning of things I need for a larger project. And some things I just want. And some toys for the kids because their action figures have taken a beating from heavy play rotation over the past three months. Batman has no legs. Robin only has one. All the Ninja Turtles have some sort of war injury. We need some fresh recruits to reinforce the play zone.

Lil Man has discovered toast. He knew that toast existed before but as he starts a youthful culinary journey, he likes toast with pretty much everything. So I bought a toaster. Our old one died ages ago and it's a waste of energy to fire up the oven every time we want toast. I made sure it has several settings. I'm going to let him experiment.

But the largest project I have in mind actually began with a small purchase. I bought a tape measure. I plan to install a storage shed and playset with swings in the back yard. I also plan to clean out our garage and make that into a playroom for the kids. When I conceived this project it seemed so simple, but it's going to be a marathon, not a sprint. Yet and still, I have a sense of urgency this year like no other.

That journey of a thousand miles begins with the single step of measuring and marking off the areas outdoors, measuring the garage for padding and carpet. Measuring the walls for cabinets. I've never done anything like this before in my life.

I fall asleep watching YouTube tutorials of how to set beams and pour gravel. My world is narrowing to an exploration of the simplest of Earth's elements. Rock, wood, simple geometry, gravity.

I'm trying to be an ant, not a grasshopper. I'm trying to get ready. I feel in my very bones that this is going to get worse before it gets better. And there's not a single thing I've bought when preparing for the initial crisis of staying at home, sheltering in place, that I haven't used. Even things I plucked off a shelf on a whim or in a spirit of, We'll never use this but I'll get it just in case, have become mainstay items.

Actually doing these projects and even the simple act of buying a tape measure means something. It means I no longer believe that coronavirus is anywhere near over. I'm hunkering down and using this summer to prepare for what promises to be a long winter.

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

The Phrase That Pays

Let's talk about that sentence today: I am not a racist.

Boy howdy, is that a loaded phrase. More than likely if some white person had been reduced to uttering this sentence it's because they have said or done something so racist that the only thing they can do is pathetically assure everyone that what they said and did is an aberration, but no one should possibly believe that's who they really are.

So many people aren't racist until they are. They go through life believing their own theory of not being racist until that theory is tested and they fail that test miserably.

Being perfectly willing to use the tools of white supremacy when they suit you is racist ass hell. Pretending that you don't know those tools exist is racist as hell. Actually using those tools makes you a Klan Member even if you never sign up or wear the robes.

Getting caught using those tools on video and facing the consequences of those actions: Priceless.

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Quarantine Dreams

My Quarantine dreams are vividly realistic. Sometimes they're about things I've never done nevertheless my dreams during this time contain a level of detail that is startling.

I have never ridden a tractor in my life. But today I dreamed I was riding a tractor through a burnished wheat field. I could feel the wheat brush my legs and see the chaff flying through the air. I could smell the scent of the cut wheat.

That's another thing that's new. Smell in my dreams. Just like I've never been on a tractor, I'm fairly certain I've never been in a wheat field. Driven past many but actually been in one? I don't think so.

How would I even know what wheat being cut smells like. But in my dream, I knew.

I dreamed of swimming. I dreamed of talking with people at a party. I could smell their perfume and cologne and the scent of the hors d'oeuvres on the tray.

Maybe I'll start keeping a dream log. These dreams are so different from my normal dreams. I feel they're trying to tell me something.

Wednesday, May 06, 2020

Social Distancing

There was a girl I knew back in elementary school
She was a year or two ahead of me
Always pretty and smart
We were never quite friends
But we were definitely never enemies
She was the older girl I admired
And I was that kid
Her teacher's kid
You know how it is
She advertised that she was making face masks online
And I contacted her
And she delivered them to my house today
And we stood there social distancing
Hugs implied
While my little boy ran outside in his bare feet
Still not quite understanding
The need for distance
And I took the masks
And all the years that lay between us
And I said
It's so Good to see you
And she said
I wish it were under better circumstances
And I said yeah, that's true
But in that moment
All the old school ties
Still held and bound
And then she got in her car
And drove away
And I took my little boy back in the house
To try on his new mask

Saturday, May 02, 2020

At The End of The Internet

I spend an ungodly amount of time online. I'm one of those Mom's whether my kids comes and takes the phone out of my hand and demands a hug. Despite the fact that I know the details of the consistency of his poop (we're coming to the end of potty training, thank goodness) the littlest one has the idea that I don't pay him enough attention (I do) and that I love my phone more than him (nah).

At any rate, occasionally I reach what I feel is The End of the Internet. That furthest corner of virtual space where silliness, craziness, darkness reigns. It's kind of like The End of The Rainbow or the Light At The End of the Tunnel. Whatever I find there, I bring back for your perusal.

I found a hellishly dark corner on Twitter today, worthy of saying, I Went to the End of the Internet and this is what I found for you.

And before you think it's too bad just know that I laughed. I laughed an awful, desperate laugh. That laugh Sally Field dredges up after the funeral in Steel Magnolias. It's the kind of laugh that uncovers truth and borders on the edge of humor, grief, madness and unfulfilled hopes. After laughter and not quite tears.

I actually created and posted a gif of that laugh because it was the only decent response I could think of.

I did think of an indecent response but it's waaay too soon for that one.

Anyhow, here are the tweets.

Like I said. Brutal.

Biting My Tongue

The biggest problem with Facebook and Twitter is that the people who run those sites actively dislike black people in general and black women in general.

Following this post you will find links to several articles from varying perspectives written at different times. Try all come to the same conclusion: Social Media works overtime at silencing black people who speak up about the nuances of our oppression. Worse, they don't bother to truly follow up when our posts, tweets and comments are trolled by white people who have no problem hitting the Report This button and having our voices silenced from an uncaring space.

That atmosphere has driven me back to my dusty blog space where honestly, I can say what the fuck I want.

So, I'm back. And anything I would have said on Facebook and Twitter will now be posted here.