Saturday, April 26, 2014

Racism Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Some days are perfect days. I go about my business with minimal negative contact with white people and breathe a sigh of relief when I walk back through my door. Another evening has come and we have survived. My family has survived the struggle another day.

Other days, the racist slings and arrows fall so hard and so fast, it's hard to fend them all off. They leave wounds that are deep and take a long time to heal. Even the ones that heal leave deep and lasting scars that leave me ducking and defensive for days, weeks, years to come.

And then there are the incidental reminders of the struggles all people of color face. The blatant hatred and barely hidden degradation that I see plainly and most white people really can't be bothered to recognize, let alone understand.

But there comes a time when even white people must begin to realize that all the "isolated incidents" of bigotry and racism are really just part and parcel of the larger system of American Apartheid.

I'd like you take a good long look at the pictures above. Look at each face. Look at everything those pictures represent, then, now and in the future.

And after you look at them, please explain to me why I should patient with white folks ignorance and hatred as I am often implored to do?

Read the following headlines and stories and understand why my patience is at an end.

Cliven Bundy Muses On What He Knows 'About The Negro'

L.A. Clippers Owner to GF: Don't Bring Black People to My Games

#myNYPD Campaign Inspires Global Awareness Of Police Brutality

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The Humblebrag Rant and a Confession

If you never want people to know what you think or read what you write, start a blog. Nobody will ever read your blog. Yes, I'm whining that very few people I know read my blog. But it pisses me off because they always want me to support whatever they're doing.

OK. Seriously. I'm not really pissed about my blog readership. I do have a few regulars and I love y'all. I really do. I see you in my hit logs every time I post and you folks make me feel good. So thank you. It's my closest friends and family who NEVER read while I'm kinda salty with. They always want me to support their latest fly-by-night venture while I've been doing this for damned near 8 years now (accidental humblebrag).

So before I get all full of myself, let m get to what I really came to say today:

I should have probably told y'all a long time ago. Some of my closest friends already know, but it's time I came out and just let ya'll know: I'm fat. My dating profile says BBW and every letter is true.

I've been fat for a while now. Like 20 years. And honestly, I don't give a crap. I'm not just saying that. I'm not on a program. I'm not dieting. I'm not watching my carbs. I'm not juicing. I'm not on anybody's diet pills. I eat what I want, when I want, pretty much when I'm hungry.

Furthermore, I don't want anyone's unsolicited health advice. I laugh in the face of moral judgments about my weight. Like I'm "good" when I'm eating a salad and "bad" when I'm eating a cheese coney.

I'm happy. I'm dating someone. I love my life. I'm not a kid anymore and I'm much bigger than I was in high school. My blood pressure, cholesterol levels are fine. I'm not pre-diabetic. My last colonoscopy was fine for the people who really are that far up my ass.

I just wanted you to know.

And now for the humblebrag rant:

To Ex-Ye Old Matey, who called me with his humblebrag that he's lost so much weight that he can wrap his belt around him three times and none of his old clothes don't fit and can I give him some advice on where to buy some inexpensive clothes to wear for College Arabella's graduation....I'm going to tell you what I should have told you the day I awkwardly hugged you and tearfully sent you off to Atlanta (they weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of relief): Fuck off.

You left me with our unpaid bills and the fallout from your aging rockstar dreams. You left me with the weight of all our relationship angst and the weight of never calling or contacting the kid we raised together. You left me with the weight of your family who doesn't understand why I made you move out and a lot of our mutual friends who think everything was "my fault."

You may have lost some poundage but there's still some weight you need to deal with old friend of mine.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders just writing this. Now I'm gonna go have a McGriddle and take my ass to work.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Microagression Log Entry 15623

"Can I help you?" - racist question number 1. It doesn't mean, "Can I help you?" It means, "You're black and I don't think you belong here. Can I put you in your place or do I need to call security or the police."

"Acutally I'm looking for Amy with..."

Racist interruption, assumption and racist question #2 - "Is she with Pierre Foods?"

REALLY? Did this bitch just go there. Am I dressed like a warehouse worker? I have on very nice office attire, a leather coat and and a briefcase and she thinks I'm headed to the warehouse?

I look her dead in the eye and say, "Actually, no, I'm looking for "XXX Company."

"Oh, I think they're on the top floor."

Yes, I know. I never asked for your help. You just seemed so insistent on making sure the one black person that accidentally got close enough to you for you ask a question of wasn't "in the wrong place" or "lost" that you just had to direct them back to the warehouse where you felt they belonged.

*sigh* Please don't tell me she was trying to be helpful.

I'm sure she thinks was.

She wasn't. It's been four days since this happened and it still rankles a bit.

One day I  may have forgotten about this micro-aggression.

Until the next time it happens.