Thursday, April 01, 2010

I'm a Republican Now

I spent the last week watching FOX Network & I have to tell you, maybe they have a point.

Glenn Beck? AWESOME! He is so articulate and those chalk boards? I swan, I just fell in love. He has those pink round cheeks that just exude authenticity. How can you possibly believe anything the Democrats have to say after listening to dear Glenn? I can't. Just can't. He's too good to be true.

And that Bill O'Reilly. I tell you, he just stepped right up and footed the court costs for the family of that Fallen Marine. What a Patriot O'Reilly is! That's more than enough to make anyone forget about the shooting of Dr. Tiller. After all it's not like Bill pulled the trigger. I say let bygones be bygones.

I'm in class & at work when Michelle Malkin is on but I've been reading her blog. She makes me proud to be a fellow blogger - although DebLite has nothing on Malkin's insight into minorities and immigration issues. I mean, just look at her. She probably grew up right here on the mainland but her folks obviously immigrated from somewhere, right? I'm just sure that means she can be trusted to be fair and balanced on all things that have to do with people of color.

The last guy I've been watching isn't on FOX at all. He's so wonderful, he can't be contained on FOX. He has his own syndicated show all to himself. I just can't say enough good things about Pat Robertson. He brings his own special brand of fire and brimstone vigor to the news of the day. What's news without a spritz of Jesus and a Christian twist? I watch him every day after Little House on the Prairie. Two pseudo Christian drama's for the price of Salvation - FREE!

And so they've convinced me. I've converted. I've seen the light. Guess I better start collecting elephant statuary and fix my mouth to call "Cross County Highway" by it's proper name, "Ronald Reagan." And I'll have to apologize to Steve Chabot for saying that he's "full of sh**". And I guess I better find a Teabagger to surrender to.

I better get going. Pat Robertson will be on in a few minutes and I've got an appointment later to get my afro straightened & styled like Sarah Palin. I'm also gonna have to find out when Rush Limbaugh is on the radio - I can't wait!

What a glorious day to be a Republican! Wish me luck!

1 comment:

  1. You would have to live with her to fully appreciate how funny this is.


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