This morning, as I often do, I was listening to C-SPAN. And a caller wanted to know why Sadaam Hussein got his day in court and Osama bin Laden was granted summary execution.
And I couldn't get a call in to answer that idiot but if I had, this is what I would have said:
I am the bleedingest of bleeding heart liberals but I tell you what - I would have put a bullet in Osama bin Laden's head myself given half the opportunity and I would have gone to United Dairy Farmers for butter pecan ice cream afterwards like nothing ever happened and wouldn't have blinked an eye.
We need to quit letting rich ass people use Americans as pawns in their personal battles. Sadaam Hussein got killed because Bush Sr. and Jr. wouldn't let the attempt on Bush Sr.'s life go unanswered. Actually, I can get behind that. Love him or hate him, Bush Sr. was a president of this country and if someone made an attempt on his life, fine, put em six deep.
And then there was that nasty little business of Sadaam trying to get the OPEC dollars traded in Euros instead of US dollars and if you think the economy is bad now, if that had gone down, we would have gone from "last superpower" to "largest fifth world country" faster than they could drag Sadaam out of a hole for the CNN cameras.
And lastly there was that episode of Sadaam being an evil ass dictator so yeah, to hell with it, hang his ass, I don't care.
But if Saddam deserved killing then bin Laden definitely had it coming. That evil sob has more You Tube videos than Kim Kardashian, going on and on bragging about how he attacked us and how he was planning more.
George Bush "just didn't spend that much time thinking about bin Laden" because he, bin Laden, was a Bush family friend and business partner. Well great. But did that stop Professor Xavier from kicking Magneto's butt every now and again? Did that stop Dumbledore form defeating Grindenwald or giving his life in an effort to stop Voldemort?
Hell no. Because in the world I live in, even my imaginary friends will kick a friend's ass when they get out of line. And in this real world, flying airplanes into buildings and killing over 2000 people is pretty far out of line. Day in court my ass.
If Osama bin Laden is fish food right now, I don't give a damn and neither should anyone else who calls themselves an American. Now would be the time to cue the car flags and crying eagles and some country singer belting out "Have You Forgotten."
If conservative whites can hate the President being black so much that they can convince themselves that Osama bin Laden being taken out on Barack Obama's watch isn't a big deal, then honey, we need to ship the whole lot of conservatives off to North Korea some damned way and let them see how they like the freedom to say stupid shit against the leaders over there and see how they like it when they end up in a penal camp for the duration of their lives.
That we tolerate conservative bullshit is a measure of how far Americans, particularly liberals, will uphold Freedom of Speech. But sometimes, the pushback just doesn't go far enough. I'm sick of white racism, I'm sick of conservative bullshit, and I'm definitively sick of Republicans disrespecting the President of the United States.
White people, get your shit together. Stop worrying about the President being "black" and start worrying about how we're going to stop the evil that is conservative thought.
The country you save may just be your own.
*drops the mic, walks offstage*